What does it mean when a woman is taking a long time to respond to texts?
You’re talking to a great woman. Things are going well, and you’re really connecting. But… then the conversation slows. Something starts to feel off.
“Why is it taking so long for her to answer my texts? Is she still interested in talking to me?”
If that scenario doesn’t take much imagination at all, take a deep breath. You’re not alone, and everything could very well be okay!
Today we’re going to talk about…
- soothing your mind with likely explanations for her extended silences,
- figuring out her level of interest based on the messages she does send, and
- how you can best handle this situation to ensure an optimal outcome.
Before we jump into that, however, let’s take a moment to reframe your perspective about the situation if she’s taking a long time to respond.
Why is it so important to keep a positive mindset even when you’re worried?
We get it.
When you’re sitting around waiting for your phone to chime, minutes seem like hours and your mind fills in the blanks:
- “Is she losing interest in me? Could she be seeing someone else?”
- “Has she been in an accident? Should I try to track her down to make sure she’s safe?”
- “Maybe she lost her phone and doesn’t have my number anymore. How will I know what happened if I never hear from her again?”
But really, and we can’t emphasize this enough, do your best to get a handle on your feelings before you confront her about her texting habits and response time.
Unfounded emotionality is a real thing. Especially at the beginning of a potential relationship when you haven’t ironed out boundaries and you have no established patterns to fall back on.
When you feel the doubts creeping in if she’s taking a long time to respond, banish them by asking yourself…
“Does it benefit me to sit here worrying? Or does it help me more to have faith that everything is fine?”
It will always, always be more beneficial to both your mental health and the possibility of a future relationship if you stay positive during this period of uncertainty.
Keeping a positive mindset goes a long way toward boosting your dating life. Download this free ebook for more helpful tips on how to build your confidence, find your strengths, and face your struggles with grace and optimism. >> Get it here! <<
Now, let’s talk about how to put this into action!
First, think about all the possible explanations for why she’s taking a long time to respond to texts.
There are so many reasons why a woman might be taking a long time to reply to your texts.
The most likely of all explanations is that she’s probably just busy.
Haven’t you ever put your phone down somewhere and gotten lost in a hobby, a good book, or a project at work?
Just to soothe your mind that there is a myriad of reasons she might not be answering right now, let’s list several possibilities:
- Her boss asked her to pick up an extra shift and she hasn’t had time to reply and let you know she won’t be available to talk.
- She’s playing “hard to get” and trying to avoid seeming too eager by responding to your texts quickly.
- Some of her friends decided to hang out at the last minute and she jumped at the opportunity for some girl time.
- After a stressful day, she decided to turn her phone off rather than coming across as negative or depressed. She really likes you so far and doesn’t want to scare you away when she’s not at her best.
- She isn’t big on texting. Some women text a lot at first when excitement is high. Then, when she returns to her “normal” mode of not texting much, it can seem like a dramatic difference for someone who doesn’t know this is her normal state.
- An afternoon gym session turned into an extended shopping trip after a pair of ripped yoga pants prompted a visit to the mall for a replacement.
- She got absorbed in her favorite show on Netflix and lost track of time.
The point is, you have no way of knowing why she’s taking a long time to respond to texts. You might as well assume it’s one of the above reasons until you have reason to believe otherwise!
Here’s how to gauge her level of interest based on the texts you have exchanged so far:
Take a quick scroll back through the text history in your conversation.
Do you notice any patterns?
Look for positive signs that she is interested in you:
- When she does respond, does it seem like she puts effort into her messages? (There is a huge difference between her replying “yeah” and her typing out a detailed reply, even if she does so less frequently.)
- Do her texts approximately match yours in length and thoughtfulness?
- Does she ask questions that keep the conversation moving forward?
- Does she ever initiate conversations, or do you do it every time?
- Has she expressed interest in meeting up for a first date? Or if you have already met, does she ever mention the idea of getting together again?
If you notice any strong patterns like the above, she probably is interested in talking to you. At that point, it’s safe to assume she just has something else going on right now that is preventing her from responding right away.
The point about her texts matching yours in length and thoughtfulness is an important one. When a conversation is flowing naturally, generally both parties are evenly matched.
That principle is true even when a conversation takes place over hours or days through text messages.
If you scroll back through your text history and ignore the time stamps, does it read like a normal conversation with valuable input from both sides?
You probably have no need for concern if that’s the case.
If the conversation seems pretty one-sided upon a quick re-read, however, do make a note of that. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it can be an indication that the interest is one-sided as well.
Here’s what to do while you’re waiting for her to respond:
Put the phone down and get lost in a favorite hobby for a while.
That way, when she does text you back, you will be in a happy, attractive mood, ready to have a fun conversation with her about what you’ve been accomplishing. Yay!
Living your own life and enjoying your day is absolutely the best way to handle this situation.
If she responds and all is well, you’ll be in a good mood and the conversation will probably be a happy one.
If she doesn’t get back to you, that’s okay too! You’ve proven to yourself that you can move on and enjoy your time with or without her.
That is so healthy, and attractive to boot!
If you’re able to put the phone down and get on with things, awesome. But many guys find they still battle with negative thoughts creeping in. Plenty of men admit to fighting the urge to text over and over again until she answers.
If you find yourself in that boat, listen up. Here’s what to do with all that frenzied mental energy:
- Instead of texting her multiple times (twice is fine, but stop there!), open up a notepad app on your phone and type out all the texts you want to send. Sometimes just getting the thoughts out of your head and down in writing clears them from your mind and allows you to refocus. If you come back and re-read these unsent texts in a few hours after she responds, chances are you’ll be glad you didn’t press Send.
- Instead of jumping to conclusions about her long response time, revisit the list of other possible explanations every time you start to have doubts.
- While sending a second, follow-up text is fine, making that text passive-aggressive or otherwise negative is not. Instead of implying that you feel she’s losing interest and sending something like “Guess you’re not into me, huh?” or “Wow, I guess I was wrong when I thought we had a connection,” purge those thoughts from your mind. When you phrase your follow-up text, remember to assume everything is fine. Instead, try sending something like…
- “Hey, I hope your day is going great! [Insert one positive thing about your day here.] ”
- “Just saw this meme and it reminded me of you.” Ideally, pick a funny picture that you both can laugh about.
Even when she’s taking a long time to respond to texts, don’t let it bring you down.
It’s all about taming the mental beast and constantly, consistently reminding yourself that everything is probably fine.
Conclusion on how to handle it when she’s taking a long time to respond to texts:
Now you know this isn’t a matter of dwelling on whether or not she’s interested, but a matter of staying positive and going about your life assuming she is until you have a reason to believe otherwise.
Let’s go over what we covered today.
We talked about…
- reframing your mindset from worrying into optimism by remembering all the reasons she may just be busy when she takes a long time to respond,
- looking through your conversation history to notice patterns that will help you decide whether she is interested in continuing to talk, and
- staying positive to ensure the best possible outcome, regardless of whether she gets back to you or not!
Unleashing your inner benevolent badass begins with taking small steps like the ones we covered today. For more actionable tips on how you can level up your dating skills, download our free ebook,
For more awesome empowerment techniques, consider joining our self-study program, Magnetic Confidence. With this program, we’ll help you develop a strong sense of self that will last a lifetime.
There are so many reasons why a woman might be taking a long time to reply to your texts. The most likely of all explanations is that she's probably just busy. Haven't you ever put your phone down somewhere and gotten lost in a hobby, a good book, or a project at work?
When a girl takes longer than a day to reply she could be busy, uninterested, or keep you on hold. The best way to deal with it is to play it cool. Look at the context of the conversation rather than the amount of time it took her to reply.
When a woman stops texting you, stops responding to messages, or doesn't respond to a date request, she's probably either uninterested or trying to bide her time and feel out her other options. She's definitely texting someone. You can be absolutely sure of that.
The majority of the time yes, slow replies indicate lack of interest. The majority of the time yes, slow replies indicate lack of interest.
Post Senning's general rule is to not wait longer than one to three hours to reply, he tells TI. "A text conversation can go stale in a few hours," he says. "Don't just make them wait." If you're crushing on someone, don't play mind games, he says.
- You Text More Than She Does. ...
- Her Replies Are Short and Cold. ...
- She Takes a Long Time to Text Back. ...
- She Never/Rarely Initiates Contact. ...
- She Seems Non-committal When You Ask Her Out. ...
- She Only Contacts You When She Needs Something.
Give them about a week to reach out. A week gives the person enough time to thoughtfully respond. The person you're chatting with could still be interested even if they've gone dark for a little while. It may feel like a long time waiting for them to reach out, but keep your hopes up that they'll text you back.
But as things begin to cool off and settle in, you may have found yourself wondering if it's normal for texting to slow down now that you're an item. Relax. The good news is, according to online dating coach and profile helper Eric Resnick, the answer is: Yes, it's completely normal and totally healthy.
- She Makes Sure You Know She's Available. ...
- She's Curious About The Girls Around You. ...
- She Grooms Herself Around You. ...
- She Wants To Make Your Birthday Special. ...
- She Secretly Stares At You.
Why Would A Girl Ignore Your Text? There are a variety of reasons why a girl could be ignoring your texts. If you flirt with a girl and she isn't interested, she may not text back. She may also be busy at work, with her social life, with her family, or with something else.
Dry texting is what happens when someone sends you short replies that don't move the conversation forward. It usually consists of one-word answers like the dreaded 'K,' says dating coach Alexis Germany.
A 5-minute response time is ideal, since it gives you time to think of an awesome reply that'll show off your personality and get her attention. But since you're not keeping her waiting too long, responding after a few minutes still lets you keep the conversation flowing.
- Explain your silence. ...
- Acknowledge that it's been a long time. ...
- Let them know you're thinking of them. ...
- Reference social media posts. ...
- Reconnect on special occasions. ...
- Show interest in their life by asking questions. ...
- Use nostalgia to reconnect over shared history.
Text your crush at least 2–3 times a week. A few days between messages gives your crush time to miss you. Since you aren't in a relationship with the person yet, it's okay to have a day or two in between your conversations.
Yet, we all also understand that people are sometimes so busy that they won't check their phone for several hours. So, if you're messaging a woman and she takes a long time to text back, it could be that she's ignoring you. Or, it could be that she's genuinely very busy.
She may have good reasons for keeping a lid on her feelings for you. She's already in a relationship and isn't sure whom she wants to be with. She knows what she feels for you but doesn't want you to know just yet. She's ashamed of her feelings for you but can't help showing them sometimes.
DON'T: Interrupt or ignore her.
You see, if you make it easier for her to say no to you, when she's already having a pretty easy time of it, you're just going to blend into the scene you're trying to stand out from. Instead, dig deep and pull out your absolute best listening skills – it's time to put them to the test.
- Make a unique first impression. ...
- Mind your appearance when you are around her. ...
- Show her your mysterious side. ...
- Exude confidence. ...
- Hold back a little. ...
- Don't be clingy. ...
- Keep any romantic feelings for her a secret. ...
- Be the one who knows her best.
How long should I wait to text her if she doesn't text back? It is not the same for everyone, but here is a rule of thumb: wait at least a day and no longer than three days. This time frame will help you avoid looking desperate or being annoying.
What To Say When A Girl Tells You "I'm Not Interested...." - YouTube
Here are five ways to tell it's happening to you.
- They Don't Answer Your Texts. This sounds obvious, but it can happen in a bit of a sneaky way. ...
- They Don't Ask About Your Day. ...
- They're Super Busy Out Of The Blue. ...
- They Show A Lack Of Interest. ...
- They Make Excuses.
While every relationship is different, three days is enough time to consider yourself ghosted. Sure, everyone has emergencies or can come up with a valid excuse for not responding, but letting things linger for three days or longer is enough to categorise it as a ghosted situation.
Benching (or bench-warming, as it's sometimes called) is the delightful — and increasingly common — practice of keeping a sexual or romantic partner on the hook as a perpetual Plan B until someone better comes along. It's essentially leading someone on, but for the express purpose of trading them in.
10 Signs She's WASTING YOUR TIME! (Don't Let This Be You) - YouTube
There is no universal rule on whether to wait for her to text or you be the one to text first. It is not rude to text a girl first, especially in that early phase after you just got her number.
She has fallen out of love. When she ignores you all of a sudden, she probably no longer has feelings for you. This situation happens when there is a distance between two people in a relationship. She doesn't know how to tell you, so she sets a barrier between you, hoping you understand her message.
A woman may ignore you for a variety of reasons – maybe she is not interested in you, or she does not like how desperate or inconsistent you are being. She may also be ignoring you unintentionally due to technical difficulties or a tight work schedule. Being ignored by a woman does not mean that she hates you.
Why She Runs Hot & Cold - YouTube
So if it's only been a few hours, over the course of a work day or a single night, don't panic. It's still well within a reasonable response time. However if she doesn't return your text for a full day, a few days, or more, she may be letting you know that talking to you isn't high on her priority list.
- Random, low-effort messages that aren't going anywhere.
- Shorter replies that don't offer explanation or details.
- Constant excuses for why they can't chat.
- Promises to check in later, but they never do.
- Always saying they were too busy to reply any sooner.
What is cold texting? In the sales and business world, cold contacting a customer is generally done via phone or email without context or a prior business relationship. Cold text messaging is similar to cold calling and emailing in this way.
Yes, you can definitely develop feelings for someone through texting.
Soft ghosting refers to someone 'liking' your last message or latest comment on their post on platforms like Facebook and Instagram where it's possible to react to an interaction, but not actually replying and continuing the conversation. So, although they're not ignoring you, they're also offering no genuine response.
If you've been ghosted by a woman, the most likely reason is because you either failed to display adequate value as a man, or you didn't hold her interest enough to maintain a position of positive romantic attraction on her radar. In essence, she 'ghosted' you to avoid having an awkward “I'm not into you” conversation.
The audacity is so strong with ghosters, it can be tough to figure out how to respond. Of course, the simplest — and often best — option is to ignore them and act as if you never received their message. You should never feel obligated to reply to a ghoster, especially if they really hurt your feelings.