What to Say When Asking a Father to Marry His Daughter-Inside Weddings (2022)

It’s an unfortunate truth that marriage used to be more about an exchange of property than love, but thankfully times have evolved. In the 19th century, the tradition of asking a father for his daughter’s hand in marriage was popularized. Though the romance of becoming husband and wife had reached that time, women were still largely under the control of their parents, so permission to marry from a future father-in-law was required. That is no longer the case, of course, but many people still partake in the tradition to ask a father to marry his daughter. However, nowadays the hopeful grooms typically ask for the father’s blessing as a gesture of respect, rather than feeling compelled to request permission to marry by society.

Just as you may be nervous to propose even after frequently discussing marriage with your beloved, it can still be nerve-wracking to ask for a future father-in-law's blessing or approval, even if you get along great and you expect him to be congenial. In many cases, asking permission is just a formality before you get married; while other couples may think it’s absolutely essential. If your bride is not close with her father or he is no longer with us, consider asking her mother, step parents, family members, or anyone who will play the role of your future in-laws. Your bride-to-be may not even want you to ask her father for her hand in marriage, so if this is the case, consider just involving the family in the process of finding an engagement ring or planning the proposal – both of which can be a nice gesture and bonding experience.

What to Say When Asking a Father to Marry His Daughter-Inside Weddings (1)
Photo by Heather Kincaid; From Real Wedding:Jewish Ceremony + Romantic Fall Reception Décor in Ojai, California

The Dos and Don'ts of Asking for Her Father's Blessing

Does She Want You to Ask Her Father?

- Do find out if your bride even wants you to ask for her father's (or mother's) blessing. Plenty of women are wholeheartedly against it, whether it's because she doesn't want anyone to know about her engagement before she does or because it's against her principles. You certainly do not want the proposal to go poorly based on a misunderstanding.

- Don’t ask anyway if she expresses disdain towards the tradition. If you feel her parents think it's important one way or another, make sure your focus is on your future wife. Let her explain it to her parents if they are upset after your engagement – she's their daughter, and if she explains it to them, they will understand why you didn't ask them first.

Video: Asking father in law for permission to marry his daughter

When Should You Ask for Permission to Propose?

- Do get together in person if that's possible, or make a phone call if there are too many geographic constraints. With many couples living away from their parents in different states or even countries, we've seen some grooms make surprise trips without their sweethearts knowing, planning the talk while visiting for the holidays or a birthday, etc. As mentioned above, if an in-person ask is in no way possible, a phone call or FaceTime call can be appreciated.

- Don’t ask for her father's blessing the first time you meet the man. This happens frequently on reality TV shows like The Bachelor; however, it should not be done in real life – unless there's a special circumstance. Even if it has to be during the same visit, have it be one of the last things you do before you leave, so her father feels he’s gotten to know you first.

Who Should Be Included & Where Should It Be Done?

- Do make your girlfriend’s mother feel included as well. You can ask her parents at the same time, or if they are separated, ask her primary caregiver first. Many Inside Weddings grooms have also asked brothers, sisters, or even aunts, uncles, or grandparents. A general rule of thumb is to make sure you speak with the family members that your future bride feels closest to in order to ensure you've covered all of your bases, if that's important to her.

- Don’t invite him to your home for this conversation. One way to make the meeting go best is to meet him on his turf, or neutral territory like a restaurant – extra points if you choose one of his favorites! It's also a nice gesture to cover the meal – or at least offer – if you choose to go this route.

Video: Asking Permission to Marry My Daughter

How Should You Ask a Father to Marry His Daughter?

- Do keep in mind what kind of man her father is – very traditional or more of an easy-going personality. That will affect how formal you should be during the encounter. We've seen some grooms have formal meetings with their future father-in-laws, while others have the conversation over a couple shots of tequila. Make it work for you and your future family!

- Don’t forget to mention how great of a job her parents did in raising the woman you love. You’re explaining why you want to marry their daughter, so make them feel like they are a part of that. A genuine compliment can go a long way and will be appreciated for years, even after you say "I do."

What Should You Prepare in Case Things Don't Go As Planned?

- Do be prepared to explain your financially stability and plans for the future, because her father will probably ask.

- Don't quickly dismiss him if he does not give his blessing – is it as simple as he doesn't trust any man with his daughter? Is it a religious or cultural difference he can't move past? If so, you and your beloved may have to consider getting married without his approval... But if there's something else giving him pause, find out what it is. He may have a point and you may need to consider it before you propose.

Video: What's it like to ask Nick Saban's permission to marry his daughter? His son-in-law explains

Should You Share Your Proposal Plans?

- Do let her parents know when you plan on popping the question, and make sure they don't say anything to spoil the surprise until she calls to give them the good news. You don't want your surprise ruined because someone got too excited and shared the news with another family member (or your bride-to-be!).

- Don’t panic if her parents ask why you want to meet! Simply say you have something important you'd like to discuss. They'll probably already have an idea of what you're going to ask at that point, which may help to ease your jitters.

For more ideas and advice, discover wedding etiquette for parents of the bride and groom, get ideas and read how these real grooms asked their bride's parents for their blessing, and find out what to do if your parents don't approve of your engagement!

Video: How to Get the Father's Permission and Blessing to Propose Marriage!
Video: Wedding Proposal & Marriage Advice : How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Father for Her Hand in Marriage


What do you say to father when asking to marry daughter?

Ask for his blessing to propose marriage.

Instead of asking permission, simply explain your wish to spend the rest of your life with his daughter. Tell him that you'll always honor, respect, and cherish his daughter.

What do you say when asking for parents blessing?

Ready to Propose? 9 Tips for Asking Her Parents for Their Blessing
  1. Do it in person.
  2. Call ahead.
  3. Keep things positive.
  4. Be respectful.
  5. Have several talking points.
  6. Bring the ring!
  7. Know about your future plans.
  8. Remind them how much you love their daughter.

Should you ask a father to marry his daughter?

If the relationship between them and their parents is strained, then you may not need to ask permission at all. However, if it's your relationship with the parents that is strained, Bicklein recommends easing into it by engaging them in multiple conversations before finally asking for their child's hand in marriage.

How do you ask to marry someone's daughter?

How to Ask a Dad to Marry His Daughter
  1. Talk about it. Make sure marriage is truly on the horizon before you stress about how to ask a day to marry his daughter. ...
  2. Consider other family members. ...
  3. Choose your words wisely. ...
  4. Be intentional. ...
  5. Share your love story (and the ring!). ...
  6. Get personal. ...
  7. Make it memorable.

What are some good proposal ideas?

Explore 22 of our favorite creative marriage proposal ideas:
  • Hire a personal chef. Plan a date night at home complete with a personal chef who cooks your partner's favorite meal. ...
  • Fill a room full of photos of you and your partner. ...
  • Propose using ribbon. ...
  • Create a custom puzzle. ...
  • Utilize a book.
Apr 28, 2021

How do you ask for hand in marriage?

How to ask her dad for her hand in marriage

Should you ask father permission before proposing?

We know it's a little old fashion, but it's still preferred for men to ask the girlfriend's family for permission before proposing. You don't have to necessarily ask her father, but at least let someone in her immediate family know of your intentions of marriage.

What to say when asking someone to marry you?

Romantic Marriage Proposal Lines
  1. I can't imagine growing old with anyone else, nor do I want to.
  2. I know you're the only one I want to share the rest of my life with.
  3. The story of our love is only beginning. ...
  4. There are many ways to be happy in this life, but all I really need is you.

What knee do you propose on?

Today, it's one of our favourite traditions of a marriage proposal. If you're wondering which knee you should propose on - convention dictates that your left knee should be on the ground, the ring box should be in your left hand, and the box should be opened with your right hand.

Do people still ask father permission?

These days, the notion of asking for permission is still very much alive and is one of the few wedding traditions to withstand the test of time. This, and presenting an engagement ring and having your father give you away on your wedding day.

Do you have to ask parents to marry their daughter?

If you have never met the man, then making your first meeting one where you ask for his permission seems unusual to say the least. And, of course, if the relationship is poor or non-existent, well, there's your answer: there's no need to ask permission to propose to his daughter.

Do people still ask father for permission to marry?

The concept of the groom approaching his beloved's parents and asking permission to marry their daughter may be old-school to some, but it is still widely entrenched in American society today. In fact, 70 percent of proposers ask for parental permission to marry their partner.

What do you say when proposing?

What to Say When Proposing—Besides the Obvious
  1. Sound like yourself. ...
  2. Go with the emotional flow. ...
  3. Offer some historical perspective of your feelings. ...
  4. Say what you love most about them. ...
  5. Tell them how they've changed your life for the better. ...
  6. Talk about the future. ...
  7. End with the famous four words.
Mar 18, 2021

Should I ask her dad for permission to date?

If you know a girl's parents are strict, you may decide you need to ask her father for permission to date her. Alternatively, your girlfriend may ask you to do it to smooth things over with her parents. Either way, it can be a nerve-wracking experience, but the key is to stay calm and be respectful.

How can I convince my parents for love marriage without hurting him?

What To Do If Parents Are Against Love Marriage?
  1. Be sure of what you want from your relationship.
  2. Let your parents know that you have someone in your life.
  3. Share your views with your parents regarding marriage.
  4. Show your parents that you are responsible and mature now.
  5. Listen to your parents' perspectives as well.
Apr 16, 2018

How do you write a simple marriage proposal?

Simple & Affordable Proposal Ideas
  1. Propose whilst stargazing.
  2. Have a deep and special private conversation about the future.
  3. Pop the question whilst secretly ring shopping.
  4. Go for a meal at your favourite restaurant.
  5. Write a meaningful letter.
  6. Turn up somewhere and surprise them (at work/whilst they are out etc).

How do you do a simple wedding proposal?

Simple Proposal Idea: “Hang the ring box like an ornament on the tree. When the last present has been opened, say, 'Wait, there's still one more present. ' Ask your intended to find it or simply retrieve it and propose.”

How do you write a marriage proposal speech?

3 Steps to Articulate Your Feelings Into a Meaningful Proposal Speech
  1. Step 1: Begin with sharing your thoughts. ...
  2. Step 2: Express what you love about your significant-other. ...
  3. Step 3: Tell your partner why you want to marry her/him. ...
  4. Pour your heart out into your words. ...
  5. Share how your partner brings impact to your life.

How do you ask for marriage?

The Traditional Proposal
  1. Ask the family - One idea worth mentioning is asking your partner's family for permission before asking them to marry you. ...
  2. Get down on one knee - As featured in stories, movies, and images, the quintessential position for “popping the question” involves getting down on one knee.
Mar 29, 2021

How do I ask my parents for permission to date his daughter?

Ask if you have their permission.

Stay calm, remain polite and friendly, and ask if you can take their daughter on a date. Tell them about what kind of date you would like to go on. You could say, "I really would like to get to know your daughter better, and I think she feels the same way about me.

How can I talk to my parents about love marriage?

How To Convince Parents For Love Marriage Get All The Answers
  1. Be honest. ...
  2. Take them into confidence. ...
  3. Introduce each other to parents. ...
  4. Gift them something. ...
  5. Don't push them. ...
  6. Take your time. ...
  7. Stand on your own feet. ...
  8. Agree to their logical terms.

What does asking for hand in marriage mean?

to ask for/demand sbdy's hand in marriage: to propose to somebody, to ask somebody to marry you.

How long did you have the ring before proposing?

We recommend that you purchase the engagement ring at least three months before you are planning to propose, this then gives you enough time to change things and/or plan everything so it runs smoothly.

What to say will you marry me?

Lesson Transcript
  • "Will you marry me?" ...
  • "Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" ...
  • "Will you make me the happiest man alive?" ...
  • "You are the one I've been waiting for my whole life." ...
  • "I want to be with you forever." ...
  • "Let's spend the rest of our lives together." ...
  • "Having you by my side is what completes me."


1. Can I Marry Your Daughter?
(Crazy Pieces)
2. How to get married in Islam including Proposal, Nikah & Mahr I Mufti Menk (2019)
3. 8 Questions To Ask Your Partner Before Getting Married
(Kevin and Kassy)
5. "I Married My Daughter..."

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